Coping mechanism for when you are dealing with feeling guilty while traveling
In this episode your host Astrid explains why soft skills like coping with feelings of guild are so important if you create more freedom in your life. Because it is not IF you will encounter these feelings, but WHEN.
The question is, Or are you feeling guilty because you “picked” up these feelings from someone else or it is projected on to you by your loved ones? Or is your inner critic making you feel guilty? And how to become aware of those patters and thoughts?
Listen to the episode
Key Take Aways
- Soft skills are essential to create a travel mindset or a stress free mindset
- Are you experiencing feelings of guilt from a decision you made or didn’t make?
- Is it projected guilt or did you pick up others peoples emotions with your open or undefined Solar Plexus?
- Or is your inner critic making you feel guilty?
- Emotional journaling and meditation are two tools to become aware of those patters and thoughts.
Resources
Transcript
Welcome to Palm Tree Talks, a podcast dedicated to creating a stress free life. My name is Astrid and I’m the founder of palmtreemoments. com. I invite you to join me as I dive into the personal development system called human design. Let’s talk about travel, business, mindset, self love, and stress reduction.
And how to translate the insights of the human design system into your travel and work life.
Have you ever experienced feeling guilty while traveling? If I reflect back on my location independence journey so far as an entrepreneur. There’s one aspect that I have not really realized that I needed to work on while I’m traveling. And that is the coping mechanisms to deal with guilt. Excuse me?
Guilt? Yes. The feeling of guilt. And I am not talking about the guilt motivation from the human design system here. Although that is definitely a topic that we will cover once we are a little bit further in our journey and covering the basics of this personal development system, guilt motivation is actually in my own human design visible.
It’s part of the variables, the four transformations, and that’s visible in your chart. If you look at the four arrows in your chart, But it’s one of the deepest layers of the human design system, so in time I will come back to this topic. Today I am talking about the feeling of guilt. The experiences with feeling guilty that you will have, especially when you have established more freedom in your life.
Perhaps you are working location independent or are traveling as a backpacker. There will be many times that you will feel guilty. You might feel guilty when you are exploring a new destination. When you are not spent your time working. When you are working, you may feel like you’re not making the best of this day by exploring this wonderful destination that you’re working in.
Or perhaps there’s a situation back home where one of your friends or relative is having a milestone celebration and you might feel guilty that you can’t be present for them because you are in a different part of the world. You may feel guilty when your free dream lifestyle isn’t so fun today.
Because you just lost something from your precious travel gear and feel frustrated about it. And that frustrations funnels into guilt because you choose this lifestyle and it should be all fun and games, right? That’s the dream. But sometimes the dream lifestyle is not a dream at all. We have crappy days as well as location independent entrepreneurs.
Or perhaps you feel lonely and feel guilty about having those feelings. Or feeling like a failure that this new lifestyle is a lifestyle that you choose. But it’s not bringing you what you hoped that it would be. And yes, the presence of guilt will definitely show up in your new lifestyle as a digital nomad.
It will show up while backpacking. And it maybe also shows up while working from home. If you are having a 9 to 5 and You work from home and you feel guilty that you are doing tasks that are more on the laundry, fixing things in your house, doing the dishes kind of things in your work time, or you might feel guilty that you took a longer break because, you know, near your house, you know where the good spots are.
You might actually go for an hour long lunch hour break, whereas in an office setting, you would only take like 30 minutes, right? Anyway, guilt is something that we will encounter in our lives no matter if you’re working a nine to five or you’re traveling as a backpacker or you’re a location independent entrepreneur like me.
Guilt is very present in our lives and the success of enabling more freedom in your lifestyle and reducing stress and reducing the resistance from your life is also to allow that guilt to be there. It’s actually a really interesting emotion to analyze. Why do you feel guilty? Did you make decisions that make you feel guilty?
Is it a certain situation? Is there a pattern there? Is it about you feeling guilty because you feel like you’re not contributing? Or is it because you are not giving yourself the space to allow your life to be? And to enjoy life, or you’re worried that other people might have an opinion about that. So soft skills like mindset work, inner work, and working with personal development can actually enable you to have a lifestyle of your choice.
And if you’re doing the inner work, it’s basically you allow yourself to feel and then use healthy coping mechanisms to deal with those [00:05:00] feelings instead of letting the feeling become the new treadmill that you put yourself in. Also, you might know that running away or numbing yourself doesn’t really work when it’s your emotional baggage that’s traveling with you.
Because no matter where you go in the world, there’s one thing you can’t leave at home, and that is yourself. And all the shit that you carry in your mental and emotional backpack, right? So, instead, let’s work on that traveller’s mindset or a stress reduction mindset and prepare our healthy coping mechanisms for the times you will encounter these feelings while being on the road or just living your life.
Because trust me, and I speak from experience. It’s not if you will encounter these feelings of guilt, it’s when. Guilt can arise from not living in alignment with your true nature or by trying to live up to other people’s expectations. Understanding your human design can really help you discern between what’s genuine guilt And what’s an external pressure that may not be in alignment with your authentic self?
Because one of the questions that you need to ask yourself when you’re feeling guilty, is it really your emotion? Do you feel that emotion while you’re being by yourself with nobody else around you, or is it because you picked up that emotion, especially with people with open solar plexus, they can pick up emotions from others and then identify with it.
So maybe because you’re sitting next to somebody that’s feeling really guilty, they kind of vibe, the feelings of guilt. Feeling guilty to you and you might just feel like, Oh, why feel I so guilty all of a sudden. So that is the first job. Do you feel guilty? Are you by yourself? Is there nobody else around here?
You’re still feeling that emotion. If not, try to walk away from the situation, go out the door, go to the toilet, go to a place where you can be alone for a couple minutes and see if the feelings of guilt actually still are present or not.
The other question that you have to ask yourself, is it a mental feeling of guilt or is it a feeling that’s really present in your body?
Like, do you feel like you’re clenching your stomach or is it something that you thought? And then that sparks a feeling of guilt because in that sense we can definitely drive ourselves a little bit mad here because we tend to believe our thoughts. The question that you should ask yourself is do I want to believe this thought that’s making me feel guilty because it might just not be true.
And our thoughts are layered with limiting beliefs and past experiences and you’re inner critic and maybe your inner critic is making you feel guilty for something that you actually should be enjoying because you created the freedom to enjoy it. So that’s number two. Number three is, is it something that’s been projected on you or is it your own feeling of guilt and your own thought that’s making you guilty?
Because if it’s projected on you, for example by parents, you know, they might say something to you on the phone and you feel guilty about maybe not being present for them because you’re on the other side of the world or in a different part of the country. Or it’s, you know, sisters that put pressure on you, brothers that put pressure on you, or even a group that’s putting group pressure on you, and it’s making you feel guilty.
I mean, peer pressure is very real. Peer pressure is very real. So that’s number three. So first, analyze why do you feel guilty? Is it even your own emotion? Do you still feel it while you’re alone? Two, what thoughts did you have? What patterns of thoughts did you have that making you feel guilty? What is the reason why you have these thoughts?
And do you even want to believe these thoughts? And the third one is, is it really your guilt or is it projected guilt projected onto you by your loved ones, for example. And then it’s a decision if you want to go along with that or you choose for yourself and own your own decisions here. So now that we have a better understanding of guilt, let’s explore some healthy coping mechanisms.
Remember, it’s normal to experience guilt, but it’s essential to process and release it in a constructive way. The first coping strategy is cultivating self compassion. Guilt often emerges when we feel like we’re falling short of our own expectations or those of others. Practicing self compassion involves treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness.
For example, I used to feel guilty when I took time off work to relax or explore a new city. Especially when traveling as a location independent entrepreneur, you’re one step into the backpacker’s world and you’re one step into the work mode. an entrepreneurial world and sometimes it’s hard to balance that because I do want to explore a different city or a place that I’m in and I do want to do those activities and I do want to go out to nature and do hiking and all the beautiful stuff.
So I remind myself that self care is crucial for my well being. And I’ve learned to let go of guilt and embrace the present moment. Because guilt is also something that can be in the mind, but our bodies are always present in the moment. So whenever you feel like you need to go back to the present moment, make an 8 in your hand palm, and that will activate your senses, and that will transport you back to the present moment.
So that’s a useful tool to have. Another helpful technique is emotional journaling. Writing down your feelings of guilt can provide clarity and perspective. Consider why you feel guilty, whether it’s justified, and what actions you can take to address the situation constructively. Maybe there’s a point when your parents are saying that they are really missing you.
They want you to be close to them, and that’s okay. So see if you can create something in your schedule to call them more, or hop on a Zoom, or do whatever it takes to address that situation properly. And talking about emotional journaling, emotional journaling allows individuals in these dynamic lifestyles to reflect on their emotions, make informed decisions, and discover patterns of the feeling of guilt.
It’s a powerful tool for self awareness and growth. And then there’s mindfulness and meditation. Meditation practices can also help in coping with guilt by learning to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgements. We create space for self acceptance and emotional release. Remember, guilt is a natural emotion, but it doesn’t have to hold us back.
By understanding our feelings, practicing self compassion, and exploring mindfulness techniques, We can navigate guilt more effectively and lead happier and healthier lives. Whether you’re working in your 9 to 5, where you’re living as a digital nomad, whenever you created more freedom in your life, it’s all about leading a happier, stress free life, right?
So, that’s it for today’s episode of Boundary Talks. I hope you found these coping strategies helpful in managing the feelings of guilt. And if you’d like to learn more about the human design system or explore other stress reduction techniques, uh, keep on listening to this podcast series as we dive into various elements of the human design charts.
For now, I would like to thank you for tuning in and until next time.
Thank you so much for sharing a piece of you’re day with me while listening to the Palmtree Talks Podcast. Did you find it interesting and want to learn more about stress reduction, mindset and Human Design? Be sure to check out the free resources at palmtreemoments.com.
Do you have any questions for the podcast? As a sacral 5/1 generator I love to respond to your questions. Send me an audio message or DM to my instagram @palmtree.moments and your question might end up in an episode. And if you haven’t already, subscribe to this podcast and leave a review. It really helps to get the word out to other people who might benefit from experiencing less stress and live a life with more flow and self love.
Have a happy morning, evening or afternoon, where ever you are listening from and until next time