{"id":3270,"date":"2023-08-01T10:17:00","date_gmt":"2023-08-01T09:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/?p=3270"},"modified":"2023-08-01T10:18:17","modified_gmt":"2023-08-01T09:18:17","slug":"the-crab-basket-effect-overcoming-resistance-and-an-unsupportive-environment-on-the-path-of-personal-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/nl\/the-crab-basket-effect-overcoming-resistance-and-an-unsupportive-environment-on-the-path-of-personal-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"The Crab Basket Effect: Overcoming Resistance and an unsupportive environment on the path of Personal Growth"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"3270\" class=\"elementor elementor-3270\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1ce75ba elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1ce75ba\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-18b641a\" data-id=\"18b641a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5dbea5c elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"5dbea5c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-626694d elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"626694d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/podcast_011_crab-basket-effect_group-coaching.png?fit=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium wp-image-3295\" alt=\"crab basket effect and why group coaching is effective\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/podcast_011_crab-basket-effect_group-coaching.png?w=1024&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/podcast_011_crab-basket-effect_group-coaching.png?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/podcast_011_crab-basket-effect_group-coaching.png?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/podcast_011_crab-basket-effect_group-coaching.png?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/podcast_011_crab-basket-effect_group-coaching.png?resize=12%2C12&amp;ssl=1 12w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9fc4439 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"9fc4439\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The Crab Basket Effect: Overcoming Resistance and an unsupportive environment on the path of Personal Growth\n<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-74eb0cb elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"74eb0cb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>In this episode your host Astrid explains why your environment might not be the biggest cheerleader of your personal growth journey. Whether your are creating more freedom in your life as a digital nomad or location independent entrepreneur. Or whether you embark on a spiritual or personal growth path to create less stress in your life. Your loved ones or group of friends are perhaps not the most supportive in this case. And there is a reason for that. Safety. Or the lack of safety. This is called the crab basket effect and it&#8217;s happening in the real world and your inner critic creates a virtual crab basket in your head as well. Let&#8217;s dive in, shall we?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-33e4ce7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"33e4ce7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasters.spotify.com\/pod\/show\/palmtreetalks\/episodes\/011--The-Crab-Basket-Effect-Overcoming-Resistance-and-an-unsupportive-environment-on-the-path-of-Personal-Growth-e27edkm\">Listen to the episode<\/a><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e301c0b elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"e301c0b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><iframe style=\"border-radius:12px\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/1BSIJujYS3CM3yBbwQm3jm?utm_source=generator\" width=\"100%\" height=\"352\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-44e2ee8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"44e2ee8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>Or, listen on your favorite app:\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/3vJajibXjehHBsh66nhCPm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Spotify<\/a>,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/nl\/podcast\/travel-and-work-with-human-design-palm-tree-moments\/id1690160875\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Apple iTunes<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9lMWNiYjc5MC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Google Podcasts<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/castbox.fm\/channel\/id5458576?utm_source=podcaster&amp;utm_medium=dlink&amp;utm_campaign=c_5458576&amp;utm_content=Palmtree%20Talks%20-%20Travel%20and%20Work%20with%20Human%20Design-CastBox_FM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Castbox<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/tun.in\/pt0Mp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Tune In<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/show\/palmtree-talks---travel-and-work-with-human-design\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Stitcher <\/a>or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pandora.com\/podcast\/palmtree-talks-travel-and-work-with-human-design\/PC:1001071832\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Pandora<\/a>.\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c8a18de elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"c8a18de\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Key Take Aways<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5fc390c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5fc390c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul><li>Your environment will want to keep you save. Because of the history of the positions of woman in our society and the intergenerational trauma&#8217;s that are being passed down from parent to child we have learned that doing things different then then group is not save.\u00a0<\/li><li>If you stick your head out from the group they will try to get you back into your place by making comments or discourage you from stepping out of your comfort zone.\u00a0<\/li><li>Your inner critic will be create their own mental version of the crab basket in your head. Remember that is always about the lack of perceived safety.\u00a0<\/li><li>Finding community in a group coaching program can be a powerful way to feel seen and heard in your personal development process.\u00a0<\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3d4e6f0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3d4e6f0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Resources<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-51b47e8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"51b47e8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/nl\/download-your-free-human-design-chart\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Create your free Human Design Chart<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3c1de5b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3c1de5b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/nl\/travel-and-work-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Learn more about my group coaching program Travel &amp; Work with Human Design.\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-08430e7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"08430e7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Transcript<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-db45095 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"db45095\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I was in the gym today and above the cardio machines they have some tv\u2019s hanging on the wall. Not that you have a choice what you can watch and sometimes you encounter stuff that you normally don\u2019t get in contact with.<\/p><p>And also this time. They had a rerun of a wipe out show playing on the tv\u2019s. <br \/>As a location independent entrepreneur I give up regular tv a long time and just have access to live stream subscriptions like Netflix. So wipeout is something I would never watch voluntarily.<\/p><p>Nevertheless, as I rowed away, I found myself contemplating the underlying purpose of the show and how it relates to personal development and our support systems.<\/p><p>Because the whole purpose of wipe out is the rooting for and seeing the participants fail. It\u2019s an obstacle course designed to bring lots and lots of challenges on your path.<\/p><p>And then there are snarky commentators that seem to get the most laughs if someone is failing rather then winning. And with extra camera shots and close up repeats of their moments of failure is really isn\u2019t about winning. It\u2019s a display of a lot of things but it is not about winning, that is for sure.<\/p><p>It made me ponder how often we encounter similar attitudes in our real-life personal development journeys.<\/p><p>Often when you are starting a personal development growth proces. How many people are actually rooting for your succes?? Or do you have more loud and snarky commentators in your environment that wast no moment to go over all the things you are not doing right? Maybe it is good to see it for what that says about them. Because they clearly don\u2019t want to succeed. Even if it is covered or sugar coded with well wished and good intentions. If some one is sticking their head out from the group, chances are that they will try to put you back in your place.<\/p><p>Why? Well, there is an interesting theory about that and that is called the crab basket effect.<\/p><p>You may be familiar with the crab basket effect. When a crab is alone in a basket it climbs out effortlessly. As soon as there are more crabs in the basket, it doesn&#8217;t even need to be covered because not one gets out. What happens is that the crabs take each other down. Hmmm, a bizarre phenomenon you might think&#8230;.<\/p><p>Well be surprised. The joke is that this crab basket effect is something women do. Women like you and me. And it is not just women, even though it is more likely that women do it. But is is man as well, it&#8217;s human really. We are not crabs, we have common sense and values. So why does this happen anyway?<\/p><p>Understanding the crab basket effect sheds light on why this happens.<br \/>The crab basket effect stems from our primal brain&#8217;s tendency to seek conformity for safety and survival. In prehistoric times, being disconnected from the group meant danger, and conformity was necessary for survival. While we have evolved, this behavior still exists in our subconscious behavior and it is influencing our interactions today.<\/p><p>So this crab basket effect goes beyond our common sense. It is hidden in another part of our brain that we are not aware of. But since we are all also still responding from this primal brain, that part of our brain that thinks we are still living in the time of hunters and gatherers. And then if you look at the basket effect it is more explainable.<\/p><p>In prehistoric times, women were responsible for maintaining harmony to keep the herd together. Being disowned from the group meant certain death. So conformism was necessary. Conformism is adapting to the views and behavior of a group, with the goal of being accepted or of seeking belonging. As soon as someone tries to put their head out, it is a threat to rest of the group. Women want connection. As soon as they notice that someone doesn&#8217;t want to fit in, doesn&#8217;t want to make or break this connection it feels like betrayal. Betrayal is not a safe feeling and that causes insecurity as well.<\/p><p>So, essentially it is about the safety. Or actually the lack of safety, especially for women if you look back in history. Because being the odd one out from a historical perspective means that you where like not able to survive in the society. It was too risky to be outside of the group, and especially your loved ones would want to you life another day. And that part of our inheritance<br \/>is still showing up in our subconscious behavior today. Even though times are different now.<\/p><p>Women, in particular, tend to seek connection and like-mindedness, which reinforces our self-image.<\/p><p>Our self-image, our identity is created by comparison and that is how we maintain it. We are constantly comparing to ensure a safe place in the group. Women are focused on relationships. Like-mindedness, connection and connection. These relationships help to test and confirm self-image. We do this to two sides. There is mutual interest there. The other person also has an interest in you maintaining her self-image.<\/p><p>When someone challenges the group&#8217;s norms, it can be perceived as a threat and trigger feelings of insecurity. As a result, others may try to bring them back to the perceived safety of the group.<\/p><p>If someone does not conform to the group after all, women seek support from each other. We sort out the mess in our heads by talking about it. You see it even in little girls. Very subtly, usually through gossiping, backbiting or bullying, it is confirmed that you do belong to the group. Adult women are girls who have grown a little bit bigger, the system remains the same.<\/p><p>Besides, how many women want or even dare to crawl out of the basket. If her environment encourages and supports her, she still has to deal with all those little voices in her head. Hello inner critic! That is your own personal imaginary crab basket. And it\u2019s aim is the same. To prevent you from getting out of that basket. It will yell at you: You can&#8217;t do it, who do you think you are, you let others down&#8230;. That basket of crabs is certainly in our heads as well as in the outside world.<\/p><p>The moment someone wants to leave the group, it feels like rejection to the rest. Jealousy might appear to be the culprit, but it often masks underlying insecurities.<\/p><p>So this \u201cputting you back in your place&#8221; behavior is displayed especially when the others feel threatened. Or when your inner critic feels threatened. It\u2019s based on fear. Not love.<\/p><p>It is unsafe and insecure so&#8230;. back in your basket! And the same goes with your inner critic. Oee, it is to scary out there. It is not safe, let&#8217;s go back to the place that we know which is in our little comfort zone.\u00a0<\/p><p>So your brain and the intergenerational unwritten rules that are being past down from parent to child, generation after generation are dynamics at play here. Group dynamics are a fascinating thing. And unfortunately today there are a still a lot of places in the world where being a woman is not very safe. Not everyone has full control over their lives or what happens to their bodies. I mean in some countries it looks like the progress of the last 50 years are turned backwards\u2026You know which countries I am talking about\u2026<\/p><p>And then we have Our inner critic, which whispers self-doubt and fear, acts like a personal crab basket, preventing us from venturing outside our comfort zone.<\/p><p>Overcoming this requires recognizing that the fear of being different and not belonging is deeply ingrained in our ancestral heritage. However, we must break free from this mindset to embrace personal growth.<\/p><p>Anyway, returning back to that personal growth journey \u2026<br \/>You may not find support in your environment when you are investing time, money and energy into personal development.<\/p><p>Because if someone is growing and actively working on healing trauma\u2019s, perhaps childhood trauma&#8217;s and doing inner work and living life on your terms, perhaps you will not be met with loud cheers for your success. No, it perhaps makes the rest of your family tribe, your loved ones or your group of friends feel like they are at a standstill. They might be jealous of you. The might fear that they are losing the connection with you. Or that you blame them for their parenting mistakes.<\/p><p>In any case becoming aware of this issue is really the key here. Because it will reveal more about them then it is about you. If your personal development journey or your journey to freedom is triggering to others. That is THEIR trigger, not yours. it&#8217;s essential to remember that their resistance tells you more about their own fears and insecurities than about our journey.<\/p><p>So don\u2019t get yourself distracted by that. Assure them that you are ok\u00e9 and thank them for their concern. And then do what YOU want. Follow your desires. Follow your passions.<\/p><p>What also can help in that process is to surround yourself with likeminded people and seeking group coaching can be a powerful way to find support and understanding in this journey.<\/p><p>That level of support and community is why group coaching can be so powerful. Maybe your friends don\u2019t understand why you are diving into your past, do family constellations or do a deep dive into the Human Design system. But your fellow coachees will get you, because they go through the same process.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p><p>And that is why I love creating the magic that is called <a href=\"https:\/\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/nl\/travel-and-work-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Human Design in de praktijk<\/a>. That is my group coaching program of 6 weeks where we dive into Human Design together. Where we hold space for each others experiences and and where we\u00a0 hold each other accountable.<\/p><p>If you want to know more about that, check the website <a href=\"https:\/\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/nl\/travel-and-work-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.palmtreemoments.com<\/a> for more details about his program and when the doors are opening again.\u00a0<\/p><p>And remember. The magic of personal development lies in stepping outside the crab basket and transforming ourselves into the better versions of who we truly are.<\/p><p>Well, that is it for today!<\/p><div><p>Thank you so much for sharing a piece of you&#8217;re day with me while listening to the Palmtree Talks Podcast. Did you find it interesting and want to learn more about stress reduction, mindset and Human Design? Be sure to check out the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.palmtreemoments.com\/nl\/free-resources\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">free resources<\/a> at palmtreemoments.com.<\/p><p>Do you have any questions for the podcast? As a sacral 5\/1 generator I love to respond to your questions. Send me an audio message or DM to my instagram <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/palmtree.moments\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@palmtree.moments<\/a> and your question might end up in an episode. And if you haven&#8217;t already, subscribe to this podcast and leave a review. It really helps to get the word out to other people who might benefit from experiencing less stress and live a life with more flow and self love.<\/p><p>Have a happy morning, evening or afternoon, where ever you are listening from and until next time!<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you step outside of your comfort zone your environment might try to hold you back. 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